In the Corner of My Mind

After a long time running away, I ran into him again. That elusive man who I only ever see through brief glimpses at the mirror. He looks like me, but he’s more handsome, more picturesque, more self-assured. I met him in the corners of my mind. He’s the courage that lives within me. He speaks to me of an exciting past and a hopeful future. He looks at me with a smirk that tells that I am all right the way I am. I do not need to perform in his presence. I don’t need to hide my secrets from him. He knows them all. He knows my fears and my anxieties.

Why did I run away from him? Because he came too close, I saw in him what I lacked. He was self-assured, confident. He was everything that I desired to be. I regret not telling him how much I admire him. My envy got the best of me and I escaped him. I met him again in that corner. I knew at once that I can’t escape him. I had to speak to him again. I told him, “I envy you. I envy your confidence, I envy your generosity, I envy your smile, your smirk, your presence-”

He interrupted me to say, “Everything that I am, you are too. You only need to have the courage to find that which is in me and know that it is only an extension of yourself. It’s not a matter of if you could be me, but a matter of whether you have the courage to channel me in your posture, in your words, in your eyes. Everything that I am, you already are and tenfold. Don’t look at me as what you lack but as nothing more than a figment of what you are.”

He fixed my shirt and bid me goodbye.

“Go get them, my friend.”

By Omar Jamal

Originally written December 29, 2018

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